The Babywearing Workout

Before I got pregnant I was overweight. Then I gained 50 lbs during my pregnancy!

Now I want to share with you how my new life as a babywearing and breastfeeding mom was all I needed to lose the baby weight and now weigh less than I did before I became pregnant. By month 5 I had already lost the 50 lbs and by month 10 I had lost a total of 70 lbs! I believe our bodies know exactly what to do and there will never be another time in your life more optimal for losing the weight than from the time you go into labor until around your baby’s 1^st birthday. You have everything you need to lose the weight. You don’t need a gym membership. You don’t need a personal trainer (you already have one that is attached to you 24 hours a day anyway). You don’t need to pay someone to make you get on a scale every week. You don’t need those diet pills that cost a fortune and are terrible for your health in the long run. All you need is your baby! Oh and some kind of soft carrier.

 

I created this workout after I found myself moving and bouncing around with Kayla in her Mai Tie trying to put her to sleep a few times a day. I decided that if I was going to be moving around so much anyway I might as well be doing some exercises since there was no way I was going to be getting someone else to watch her while I took myself to the gym. Ha! Yea right...that was never going to happen. And so was created The Babywearing Workout. Not only was I getting a good workout but Kayla was also falling asleep so much easier than she was before! I felt like I found the answer to all of a mother's questions (well 2 anyway). I wanted to share this with every new mom I knew. So here I am...sharing it with you!



Download Available Now for Only $9.95
DVD's are coming soon!

Check out my new website www.thebabywearingworkout.com 

Birth Story: Home Birth With A Transfer To The Hospital

Estimated Due Date- Thursday September 1st, 2011:
Came and went. (Happily, I must say, as I wasn't really looking forward to my baby having the birth day of 9-1-11)

Friday night:
Started to feel some slight contractions but nothing painful or consistent.

Saturday:
Called the midwife, Linda, who of course had decided to take a vacation the week that I was due to give birth. Thankfully she decided to stay on the East Coast but was still almost 4 hours away. I was having contractions that were stronger but totally inconsistent. Looked something like this: 3 mins, 15 mins, 8 mins, 10 mins 5 mins, 3 mins, 20 mins, etc....So Linda said to just keep track and if they start to even out a bit give her another call. It went on like this all day...evening came and I called to tell her nothing had changed except that they were getting a little bit stronger. She couldn't decide if she should start driving back yet or not and I told her it was her call. So she decided to head home (which was 3 hours from her and then another hour or so to me once the time came). I didn't really sleep much that night.....looking back on it now I wish I had tried harder to because I really needed the rest for what was coming.

Sunday:
Morning- called Linda...things were speeding up and getting stronger but still all over the place...not consistent at all. She decided to head over....I was relieved to have her there to see how far along I really was. I mean this was my first birth so I had no idea what to expect or to know where I was at in the process! Once she arrived and checked me the news was a total let down....I was maybe 1 cm dilated. OMG. Ok, re-group. Pull it together.

Linda decided that since I was so far off yet she would head back home and I was to call her when things started moving a little more. She left and then about 20 mins later she called to tell me she had spoken to a colleague of hers about what could be going on with my wacked out contractions. They both thought it would be best if I head in to a hospital to get a scan to make sure the baby hadn't moved back into breech and that the placenta was still in it's place and intact (from the external version I'd had a week prior). Also I guess my BP was kind of high but she hadn't mentioned that to me when she checked it before she left.

Serious stress kicked in..... I DID NOT want to go anywhere near a hospital....

In any case, Tony and I loaded into the car and headed straight out.
We got there and thank goodness it was empty! I was their first patient of the day. So I filled out a little paper work and they put me straight in a room. Now I'd only been there like 20 mins and I'd already heard 3 times..."Oh wow! You are over due! Good thing you are here!" Sheesh I'm only 3 days passed my "due date"...
So they strapped me up to all the contraptions they use to monitor me and and baby. Got out the sonogram machine and said everything looked fine. Baby was still head down and placenta was fine. Great! Get me outta here!! But then came the "well we can't let you leave just yet because we need to monitor you both for 30min-1hour to make sure everything is stable." We got through that and I started getting myself all unhooked and dressed. Just as we were getting ready to walk out of the room the doctor came in and said "Wait!! We need to check you to see how dilated you are." I asked her why they needed to do that as I had already been checked by my midwife a couple of hours ago and she said "Well, in case we need to induce you." What??? I don't think so....I'm outta here!! lol
We checked out and started heading home.

On the car ride home it started....the contractions were coming like every 3-4 mins CONSISTENTLY and the pain had increased quite a bit. I mean increased so much that I had to jam my feet into the floorboard and grip onto the door handle each and every time. I called Linda and told her things were changing. So she started her way back over to our apartment again. By the time we got home Linda was calling to tell me that she was stuck in traffic and was afraid she might not make it in time with how fast the contractions were coming now. So she called a couple of back up midwives both who said they would come right away so someone would be there. Turns out Linda still got there first and then the other two came shortly after. Now mind you, we are in a little one bedroom apartment (approx 470 sq ft) with me, Tony, 3 midwives and a birthing pool blown up in our living room. Needless to say we were "cozy".

When Linda walked in I was sitting on the edge of a chair leaning back as that was the only position I could handle the contractions in. She thought that was strange and insisted that I move to a leaning forward position so as not to slow anything down. That was much more painful and uncomfortable but thought I'd give it a shot for a while. Linda checked me and if I remember correctly I think I was only around a 3cm dilation. Boo.

 
This is the point at which Tony started to fill up the birthing tub. I was looking forward to getting in it as I was hoping it would give me some relief. It took a while but then was called out to give it a try.....hmmmm not what I expected. I think there should have been a lot more water in there but was just trying to get through my contractions that were coming hard almost every 2 mins so I didn't say anything. I'm guessing it was around 4-5pm about this time.

From here on it all starts to blur together a little bit which is why, now that I'm finally writing this, I wish I had done this sooner because I'm a detail kind of person. So I'll just do the best I can and if things are a little bit out of order I guess you won't know the difference.

So far my water still hadn't broken and I hadn't seen the mucus plug pop out anywhere along the way. I knew labor was going to be painful and it was. However, you never can really understand what it's going to feel like until you are in the heat of it. I remember being told a few times at our birthing class that your body knows what it's doing and when it's time you will feel the urge to push. When the baby and your body are ready and you've transitioned into the next stage of labor...it will be time to push the baby out and you will know because your body will tell you to push. But of course, this wasn't so for me....I was feeling the strongest urge to push already and my cervix wasn't anywhere near being ready to let that baby come through. I struggled with this for a little while when I finally mentioned it to Linda in between contractions. I told her it was becoming almost impossible for me not to start pushing. In no uncertain terms she was very stern and clear that I was NOT TO PUSH under ANY circumstances. What? Wait....what? This pain was so strong and mind blowing itself but then on top of it to have to fight my body's urge to push every 2 mins was something I just couldn't wrap my brain around. Then a contraction...pain...more pain...worse pain...and all through that having to be so present in my mind to tell my body "DON'T PUSH.....DON'T PUSH.....DON'T PUSH". Whew. Ok, rest for 2 mins. Then here we go again. Looking back on this now, I can't believe how strong I was physically and mentally to be able to do this for something like 16-18 hours. Needless to say there were a handful of times that I just couldn't help it and I HAD to push so I did. I would find out later that the reason this was happening was because the baby was Posterior (face up towards my belly button instead of face back towards my spine).

  

I vaguely remember what was going on around me over the hours that passed while I was in the midst of repeating the above experience over and over again.... Tony ran outside to get something to eat. I was in the bedroom by myself. I could hear the midwives in the living room chatting and laughing and having a grand old time. (and thinking to myself...one of you should get your ass in here now and help me!!!) Then Tony came back and the midwives all went out to eat together. In the back of my mind I remember hearing the soothing sounds of Call of Duty war games in my living room. (I'm sure that was a figment of my imagination...Tony wouldn't have been playing that while I was in labor in the next room....wink wink).



Note: I have to give Tony much credit- when it came to applying the counter pressure to my lower back throughout the entire Labor (and I mean entire labor...because of the back labor pains from the posterior baby I needed him to put as much pressure as he could onto my lower back with each and every contraction) he was on top of it. I think I only had to elbow him or yell at him 2 or 3 times that he wasn't right there. I know his arms were burning and he was exhausted as well. He was so good.  I mean look at him here with the cold wash cloth on the back of my neck trying to help me feel a little bit of comfort. I love him for all his efforts! I know his stress level was extremely high feeling so helpless and just having to watch me go through so much. Playing the game for a few mins was a good way for him to try and de-stress and I'm totally ok with that!!




At some point, as I wasn't progressing much and was in so much pain and so exhausted (I think I was running off of something like 4 hours of sleep in the last 40 hours or so), Linda suggested I take some Ambien to get some rest. I wasn't so sure that was a good idea but she assured me that it was ok....so Tony ran out to get a prescription filled. While he was gone I remember being in the shower sitting on my yoga ball with the hot water pounding on my back...ahhhhhhhhhh now I felt like I was in heaven!!! That was by far the best I had felt the entire time. It was like every time a contraction came while I was in there the hot water spraying on me just sucked the pain right out of my lower back. I did not want to get out! It was so hot and steamy and I 'm sure I was in there for at least an hour if not more. The Doula in training kept bringing me water....oh wait, yes I forgot to mention that part. Let me go back:


The 3 midwives all agreed that I needed a Doula to come help me through this labor. One of them started calling some she new and giving them my cell number so they could call me to talk about prices/etc.... I spoke with and texted a couple before I came to my senses and put the phone away. This was not something I need to be focusing on right now not to mention we couldn't afford the $500-800 fee they would charge. Then one of the midwives remembered a student of hers who was a Doula in training and called her to come over for free. Poor girl....she didn't know what she was walking into and really wasn't far enough in her training to be of any use to me. She did take all of the photos you'll see on here that I didn't even know she had taken until later that week. She was also bringing me water all the time (probably too much because I hadn't peed in hours and wouldn't until much later on with some "help"). You might ask, at this point, why I would need a Doula when I had 3 midwives there with me. I can not even answer that question for myself so I'll leave that for another time.

Once Tony returned with the Ambien I took it. (maybe more on that in another post....I'm not sure I'd make that same choice again now that I've been able to do some research on the dangers of using it during labor. I know for a fact I was not as present as I needed or would have liked to have been). I was trying to find a position comfortable enough to try and get a little rest. I had wanted to be out on the couch as I knew I could prop myself up just the way I wanted and still have the chance of sleeping. But for some reason (maybe because they were all so comfortable on the couch) the midwives didn't want me out there and thought I should stay in the bed. Tony lay down next to me and was knocked out and snoring in a few seconds. I did my best to get some sleep and I know I probably got an hour or two broken up in between all of the contractions. I remember Linda telling me afterwards she had no idea how Tony slept through all of that without waking to a broken arm. I do remember squeezing the shit out of his arm every time I woke to a contraction. At some point I was 9.5 cm dilated but there was just a little lip of cervix left that she was trying to massage back so we could get the ball rolling. Holy Shit that cervix "massage" was painful...to add to the pain I already felt. But it wouldn't budge.

Then around 6am or so my water finally broke. That felt like a sign pointing me towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Linda was sure that this, in addition to the 9.5 dilation, was a good sign that in no time we would have our baby in our arms. Unfortunately, that was not the case....

After a few more hours of  struggling not to push Linda thought that maybe I should go ahead and give it a try to help relieve some of the pressure as it was unbearable for me to fight it any longer. Shortly after that she checked me again and I had regressed....I was only 5cms dilated now. All of those times I pushed when I wasn't supposed to had caused my cervix to swell. For those of you who have labored a baby you can imagine how hearing this felt. From a 9.5 to a 5. I don't know how I didn't just fall into a heap of tears on the floor. But my job was not yet finished so I had to tighten my boot straps and keep on moving.....

Around 10 or 11am on Monday morning (ironically Labor Day) the baby's heart rate was starting to get a little decelerated. This was the point at which I remember Linda looking at Tony and asking him how far the nearest hospital was. Again....no heap of tears but I remember thinking there was no way I was going to be able to walk out my front door to the elevator, ride it down and then walk up the street to the car. I mean it was going to be impossible. They were going to just have to carry me out. I was just standing there looking like a deer in headlights while Tony was frantically running around the apt looking for clothes for me to put on and a pair of flip flops that I could get onto my fat swollen feet. I hadn't packed a hospital bag because after all I wasn't going to the hospital! They got me dressed, hooked up to an oxygen tank and opened the front door.

That's when the fear crept in, I froze and then I swiftly kicked it out!

Somehow I made it to the car and the ride was probably just as you can imagine it was through the pot hole filled streets of New York....not very enjoyable.

It was probably only a 10 minute ride and then we arrived at the front doors of the ER.

My posse (Tony, 3 Midwives and a Doula) all walked into the ER. They got me into a wheel chair and the interrogation began...Name? Rank? Address? Insurance? How long have you been in labor? What's going on? Due Date? And it went on and on....After the first couple of questions I completely shut down. I was looking back and forth from my squad to the captors that were now questioning me and decided I was no longer going to answer any more questions. If they needed info one of my soldiers could give it to them.

Once one of the nurses yelled at me "WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG TO COME IN????" with pure contempt in her face and voice, I felt myself drop deep down within myself so as not to completely loose it. I remember Linda kept telling them they needed to check the baby's heart rate, check the baby, check the baby...CHECK THE BABY! And all they could do was ask more questions and then finally got me in on a table, striped my pants off, spread my legs, someone stuck their hand in to check me then everyone looked at me and someone said "Well, you're not crowning yet." NO SHIT! REALLY? Then they put me on a bed and started to wheel me off to Labor and Delivery. I was then stopped mid-way and put in a room the size of a closet where a couple of nurses slowly started flipping through some paperwork and chatting with one another. Linda pushed past them and got the oxygen mask on me and grabbed a Doppler off the wall so she could hear the baby's heart rate herself since no one wanted to listen to her. After all, she was encroaching on their turf now...and I wonder if they were less responsive to me because she was there trying to tell them what was going on. It was then that they decided that they weren't going to let her continue on and asked her to leave that room and they would "take care of it".

Finally I got into my own room and damn these contractions were crazy making.
They did let Linda come into the room with Tony and I. The other midwives and Doula had all left I'm sure around the time I was wheeled off into the cold, sterile, florescent blinding abyss.
The Doctor on staff seemed pretty nice and was now fully updated on the fact that I had been attempting a home birth, was approx 21 hours into it and that I had lots of requests and opinions on how I wanted things to go from this point on. There were 2 or 3 midwives on staff that day as well so the doc turned me and my care over to them for the most part. I have to say that I was happy to have my primary care givers, at this point, coming from somewhere in the vicinity of the same mindset as myself. I gave them my list of requests and they didn't even blink at them: skin-to-skin immediately, breastfeeding only, delayed cord clamping, delay of weighing/measuring/eye ointment/vitamin K shot all until at least 1 hour after we've had the chance for our time together with skin-to-skin and breastfeeding. And lastly, no wiping the vernix off or washing the baby.

Intervention #1:
The doc on staff told me I should have an epidural because we needed to do everything we could if I wanted to avoid a c-section. After discussing it with Linda and Tony we decided that if I was going to try and get any rest and still have a chance at delivering my baby vaginally I would need to go ahead and do it. I really didn't think I could take much more and if the swelling of my cervix didn't go down I was afraid that c-section they were already threatening would be my doom. (sorry to make it sound so horrible but it's just the way I felt)
So it took an hour or so I think for the guy to come in and give it to me. Still having contractions every 2 mins that were so crazy painful and this guy was telling me not to move at all or I'd end up with a serious headache or worse. Then I had a contraction while he was preparing things and he looked at me and said "I told you you can't move when I'm doing this!" I told him that I heard him the first time and that he would have to just get it ready and wait for me to have a contraction in 2 minutes then he could start right afterwards and we shouldn't have any problems. He followed my direction and we were fine. Then he told me that the next time I get a tattoo I should make sure that it's not on my back near the other one I have because he only had a very small window in which to place the needle and the next time I needed to have an epidural I didn't want to have another tattoo in the way. Wow, ok thanks for the suggestion.

I thought that an epidural was supposed to make you not feel anything from the waist down. Well, I guess it affects everyone differently. It definitely took the edge off and I think I was able to smile and fully breath for the first time since this all started but I still felt that severe pressure like I needed to take a serious poo. It only lasted a couple of hours before it felt like it was wearing off. I was already starting to have to grip the rails on the bed again with each contraction.

Intervention #2 (I have to admit this was a pretty cool one for me):
The midwives thought that since my water had broken around 7 or 8 hours earlier that day the pressure of the baby's head on my cervix wasn't allowing the swelling to go down as quickly as we wanted. So they told me that they wanted to do an Amnioinfusion. This is where they insert a catheter into your uterus and infuse it with saline solution. This helped to lift the baby up off my cervix just enough so the swelling was able to come down. I wasn't so sure about it so, of course, they mentioned that we wanted to do everything we could to avoid the c-section that I said I didn't want to end up having. I consulted with Linda and went ahead with this procedure. They also inserted a catheter so that my bladder could empty....it hadn't emptied since before I started labor I think because the baby's head in the posterior position was blocking it from doing so.

This is the point at which Linda decided to leave. She was tired and couldn't really do much for me anymore (except be there for support....but who needs that anyway...). Tony also left to get something to eat. I told him I'd call him if anything started to progress so he could rush back. His mom stopped by for a few mins to keep me company but then had to head home.

Intervention #3:
So there I was alone in a hospital, the last place in the world I wanted to be, with all kinds of tubes coming in and out of me, still feeling contractions and fighting that urge to push. I had an oxygen mask on my face that I kept trying to remove and a nurse would come back over and make me put it back on. I had those annoying monitors strapped to my belly- one for my contractions and one for the baby's heart rate. A nurse would position me in a way that she could hear the best heart beat and told me not to move.
This was the perfect time for them to make their next move....I noticed a nurse hooking a new bag of something up to my IV line. I asked her what it was and she told me "it's medicine your doctor said you needed". I asked her what, specifically, it was and again with a vague answer "something to help move things along a little". I asked her if it was Pitocin. She gave me a strange look and said yes it was. I asked her why they wanted to use it and how much of it were they planning to give me. She again gave me a strange look and asked if I wanted to talk to the doctor about it. Of course, I said yes. Look, I may or may not agree to what they were trying to do but I felt that I should be fully informed before they just started pumping stuff into my IV. The Doc came in and gave me what seemed to be their standard line, they obviously figured out what my "hot button" was, that it was the next step we needed to take to help keep me from having a c-section. I think I either called or text messaged Linda for her recommendation and, not surprisingly, she said it was the best option. I'm so exhausted that I went with it. I called Tony to tell him to hurry back because I had no idea what was going to happen or how fast it would come after that.

Shift change was at 7pm. New nurses started coming in already which sucked because they weren't all that nice. However, the midwives told me that they decided they were going to stay, off the clock, to help me through the rest of my labor. It was probably about 6:50pm or so and I couldn't take much more...I just had to start pushing. Finally the doc came in to check me and with a big smile said "Ok! You're at a 10!" I almost couldn't believe it. At 7pm I started pushing. Waiting for the contraction to start and get to it's peak then push with all I had. I remember just holding my breath, bearing down and pushing till I didn't think I could push any more and then I'd find a little extra something inside me and push a bit more. There was no moaning, groaning or screaming. Just intense concentration and pushing. Tony was right by my side the entire time holding my hand and one leg helping me as much as he could. I could still feel everything that was going on inside me which I think is why I was able to push so hard every time. After a little while of this they told me to reach down and feel my baby's head. I did and it was so warm and soft and mushy it kind of freaked me out. I wanted to get back to business so I could have that baby in my arms. At 7:43 pm I pushed my last time and out came this tiny little human that was brought straight up to my chest. I wrapped it in my arms and was so in the moment and feeling such bliss until I heard a bunch of strangers yelling (well it felt like yelling to me...Tony said it was only the doctor asking excitedly what it was) at me to check if it was a boy or a girl. It was the moment that I wished more than anything I had still been at home. Here I was having this most precious and amazing experience and it felt like it was being interrupted by people that shouldn't really be there. We had waited 9 months already so what was 5 more minutes to allow me to just be in this moment? So, I lifted a leg and announced to the room that it was a girl! Wow...a girl! Just what Tony was praying for and I couldn't have been any happier. We were just looking at her and each other with pure love.

I checked the cord and it was no longer pulsing or filled with blood so Tony cut the cord.

I held her on my bare chest with a blanket over her trying to nurse her but mostly just feeling each others warmth, smelling each others smell and staring into each others eyes. It was magical. I probably held her for an hour or so while I was delivering the placenta. Once that was done it was time to stitch me up. I guess I tore pretty badly. Looking back I wish I had known that it's better to take your time and push slowly as you'll be less likely to tear so bad. That's what I read about it anyway. I handed her over to Tony and he held her for an hour or so himself before they insisted upon taking her to get weighed and measured. Then they took her off to the nursery.

Kayla Lynn      9-5-2011        8 lbs 3 oz         21 inches

I couldn't get out of that room and to my baby girl fast enough. Again, wishing I was at home so I would never have had to let her out of my sight or out of my arms! Tony went with her but, of course, they told him he wasn't allowed to stay with her in the nursery while they gave her the vitamin K shots but that they would bring her to us once we were moved out of Labor and Delivery.

As we all know, in life things don't always go as planned. I remember reading through the blogs and forums online while I was pregnant to be prepared for all outcomes including delivering in a hospital if you are planning a home birth. I would also suggest the same thing to anyone else planning a home birth. Also pack a spare hospital bag just in case. It sucked being at the hospital with nothing of my own that first day (the ER people lost my shoes on top of it all). I also wasn't prepared to be stuck in a hospital for 2 days afterwards either. I have to say I felt like I was being held hostage. I wasn't able to get any rest because either Kayla or I were constantly being poked and prodded at all day and night. Tony wasn't allowed to spend the night either which I wasn't prepared for. Needless to say the entire experience was so far away from how I pictured and planned it all out in my mind. I would do it all again though and without a doubt the next baby will also be a home birth. But this time I will be more prepared mentally for any alternate outcomes. I know that if I had started out in the hospital and not labored at home as long as I did I would have been c-sectioned way earlier on in the process.

I could go on about the rest of my hospital experience from this point on but I'll save that for another day.

In the end, I have my beautiful baby girl and couldn't be any happier!

Turning our Breech Baby: 38-39 weeks

It has been a pretty easy and uneventful pregnancy so far. With the exception of the usual aches and pains that come along with all of the changes pregnancy makes to our amazing womanly bodies!

It was again another fairly smooth midwife visit for our 37 week check up (Thursday morning).
BP-Good   
Baby's Heart Rate- Good  
Head Down towards pelvis
No dilation

One minor problem...I had a yeast infection. Midwife "prescribed" acidophiles and to start use of Monistat 7.
I had a slight uneasy feeling about using the Monistat 7 pregnant but she assured me that it would be fine. That Friday evening I started using it.

Around 3 days later I was relaxing on the couch and I felt some pretty significant movement from the baby. I was surprised but didn't think much more of it than that.

Our next visit for our 38 week check up (the following Thursday morning).
BP- Good
Baby's Heart Rate- Good
OH NO WHAT IS THIS???? The baby had all of sudden turned into a breech position.
The midwife was 99% sure it was breech. I could even feel the little bobble head right in the middle underneath my ribs. Shit. I was really starting to freak out. The midwife will not deliver a breech baby. Hospitals in NYC will send you directly to a c-section...no vaginal delivery's on breech babies. (yes I know that is silly....oh by the way there are a couple of docs that I heard will do it but only for $10,000 Cash payment...no insurance coverage....lovely)

So we decided to go for our very first ultra sound to find out 100% for sure that it was breech, exactly what position breech it was and where the placenta was located. That very afternoon on our way home from the midwife I was on the phone calling around to find a place that would see us that day and would take our insurance. We found one and went straight there. Sure enough....breech....frank breech to be exact (butt down in pelvis with feet up near head-folded in half) but the placenta was posterior (towards the back of the uterus).

Next step...how do we get this baby turned ASAP so we can have the home birth we were so looking forward to and avoid the c-section that was completely freaking me out.

Friday-Sunday--We tried it all: 20-30 min Pelvic Tilts with an ice pack on the baby's head, music in my pants and a flashlight trying to direct the baby into position. This we did twice a day in addition to inversions for 30 seconds each (check out http://www.spinningbabies.com/ for these techniques that have been proven to work on flipping breech babies). We also went to the swimming pool and I did as many handstands as I could muster. Then acupuncture/moxibustion was next on the list. That, I would have to say, the baby reacted to the most. During the procedure the baby started moving around like crazy! She sent us home with some of our own moxibustion to do twice a day...we did that. Lots of movement but not enough to get the baby to turn.

Now as hard as I was trying to remain calm, since I know that my stress level would in no way help this baby to relax and turn around on it's own, I just couldn't pull myself together. All weekend long in between (and sometimes during) these "tricks" I was having some serious melt downs. I couldn't stop crying and at one point I think I even yelled and threw an ice pack across the room at Tony...for those of you that know me...COMPLETELY out of my character! The idea of having to have a c-section was just putting me over the edge. During all of this I was scouring the Internet, calling my insurance company (a stressful event on it's own) emailing doulas and other resources trying to find a doctor that would take my insurance and perform an external version for me. After all, I was 38.5 weeks along and each day the baby is getting bigger which will make it less likely to be able to turn and if I go into labor before that happens we would need to go straight to the hospital for that damn c-section. As you can image the urgency of this matter wasn't helping my state of calm (or lack there of).

First thing Monday morning at 8am I was on the phone making phone calls to hospitals, doctors, insurance company, etc... here was some of the feedback:
"No sorry we don't do versions on patients that aren't ours."
"No sorry we don't take your insurance."
"A what? A version....I don't know what that is."
"Yes we do have a doctor that can do versions. He can get you in today! Oh sorry we don't take your insurance but we take cash. I have an apt available at 3pm just bring your records and $1300 cash" (don't have that kind of money right now)
"Yes I do versions and would love you help you out! I take your insurance but since this procedure is so risky we have to do in the hospital and the one I work with doesn't accept your insurance. Sorry."
"What? You're 38 weeks pregnant and you don't have your own OB. You're doing a home birth? What were you thinking? You waited way to long...it's your fault you are in this situation."
"I'm sorry our next apt is 3 weeks from now and since you aren't one of our patients we can't help you now...it's too late"
"No I'm sorry we can't help you...you should really get yourself to the ER right away"

I probably called 20 different places and kept getting these kinds of replies. (after being put on hold for 5-20 mins each time)

Finally around 1pm I got through to an actual doctor at Bronx-Lebanon Hospital Labor and Delivery Unit.
Yes they had a doctor that performed external versions. He was on staff that day. I would need to come into the triage unit and they were a little busy but if I didn't mind waiting they would get to me when they could.
Did they take my insurance? She didn't know but transferred me to another department (again on hold for 20 mins). Finally....yes they would accept my insurance!!

We got there as quickly as we could. Checked in, waited in the waiting area for about 1.5 hours then they called me back. Tony wasn't allowed to go with me. I changed into the gown put my clothes in a bag and then the doctor came in to tell me that I should have been there first thing in the morning. It was too late in the day for him to try and perform the version in case something went wrong. I needed to come back on Wed first thing in the morning at 8 am. Complete let down. But he took the time to check me anyway-yes it was breech (but no longer frank breech-now it was feet down breech....must have been all those "tricks" I was doing), still a good amount of amniotic fluid, but the back was out towards my belly (makes it almost impossible to turn the baby-so he said). And the fact that I was already 38.5 weeks along he didn't feel confident that it would work and due to the risks I may need to go straight into an emergency c-section. But if I still wanted to he would be willing to give it a try on Wed morning at 8am.
Then hospital procedures kicked in...they had to monitor me and the baby for 30 mins before they could discharge me. Baby was fine but now my BP was too high for them to let me go (you think!! I wonder why?) So now they had to do blood work as I might have preeclampsia!!! Good lord please. I've been fine up until this point. I let them take the blood but then checked myself out. Told them I'd sign whatever waiver they needed me to sign but I was not sticking around for another 2 hours to wait for the results of my blood test. Call me if there was a problem (which I knew there wouldn't be).  No call came.

So being my punctual Virgo self we were back at the hospital Wed morning (now 38 weeks 6 days) at 8 am to get this version done and go home to have my home birth.
Another ultra/sound, more monitoring, BP checks, etc.... Then someone came in for an emergency c-section. Then another and another.... They put in a hep-lock "just in case" the version (once they got to me) went wrong and I needed a c-section. Tony is still in the waiting room. Then some more waiting....oh and some more emergency c-sections came in. The waiting was a pain but I would have to say the hep-lock was the worst part! That thing hurt.
Oh and mind you I was asked not eat or drink anything from midnight the night before. Now I'm starving on top of all of it.

Finally around 4pm the doctor made in it to see me and was ready for the version. Residents and nurses were all clamoring around to see it as it's not something that is really done very often any more and most of the time it doesn't work (so they told me). They gave me some medication to relax my uterus which did make me pretty shakey (one of the side effects) and started immediately. 3 painful minutes later the baby was turned around and I felt the head drop down.
I started crying on cue!!!  I was sooooo happy I couldn't believe it. Of course, the doctor had to be a bit of a downer and explain that it didn't mean the baby would stay that way and that there was a reason it flipped around in the first place so we should really be cautious and maybe that home birth wasn't the best option. After all the head could be too big to birth naturally!  LOL (I honestly think the reason the baby turned was beacuse of the Monistat 7 it was trying to get away from....only my theory but my intuition is pretty strong in that direction).
I walked around the hospital halls for 30 mins and they checked again to make sure the head was still down and the heart rate and movement of the baby was still good and we went home.

I do have to say everyone there was very nice to me (including the doctor) and it was well worth the waiting around all day and the 3 mins of pain!!!

It's funny...somewhere in the midst of all this chaos I had reached a point of surrender in the fact that what will be will be and that as much as I would like to I cannot control everything. This was a big life lesson for me and I think in the end is also what helped the baby to turn as easily as it did that day.

Now I'm 39 weeks 2 days and just praying the baby stays put!

It's been a long stressful week but in the end I have found peace and even though we now have Hurricane Irene coming our way at any moment I have no worries or fears. All is and will be good and what will be will be!

Maternity Photo Shoot

Tony and I had an amazing bonding experience on our little trip to New Haven, CT to have our maternity photo shoot with my good friend Ian Christmann from Catalyst Photography! If you like what you see and you live in NY, NJ or CT it's well worth the drive: http://www.catalystphotography.com/

These were all taken at my 34 week pregnancy mark.

Here are some of our faves:

lovin' the belly at 32 weeks

Aweee this was just too cute not to post!!!

Help! I've been invaded

I'm sure you think I'm talking about the little creature that is now growing in my belly but actually I'm talking about myself. I actually feel like I have been invaded by ME!

Weird I know.

But here's the deal. This body that I'm in is not myself. Way deep down inside I am myself but I'm now living in a body that is no longer mine. Huh?

It's a swollen, off balance, awkward, achy, leaky (let me clarify that one....this body likes to leak a lot of salty tear water from it's eyes at any unknown moment), very small brain capacity (can't remember what it was doing to do 2 seconds ago) and has another living growing creature in it's belly that kicks, punches and rolls all around.

All of this is part of a former version of what I used to look like in the mirror.

Ok, I might be getting a little out there but really...it's one of the strangest things that some of us women are so lucky to experience in our lifetimes. Yes lucky...in what other circumstance could we go through such dramatic and sometimes very uncomfortable changes and know that it is also one of the most wonderful, amazing and miraculous things that only we women are so lucky to experience.

Don't get me wrong...I do have many moments where I feel beautiful, blessed and changed for the better in many ways. I mean it's not only your body that changes through this process but also your entire being. I'm still working it all out but I have to say this is also a spiritual journey that is going to forever change the person I am. More details on that at a later date.

That being said...still I've gone and invaded a body that was once mine and... it's just plain WEIRD.

And we have movement!!

Finally...I've been waiting and waiting for the day to come that I would know that it's not just gas or hunger grumblings going on down there. Over the last week  (week 19-20) I've been feeling the baby move off and on each day. When I was trying to find info on what it would feel like it was almost always described as flutters. I have to say that yes that does seem to be the case. However, the majority of the time it just feels like air bubbles or a small finger brushing across the inside of your belly. It's so hard to fully describe or explain it but my mom was right... You will know it when you feel it!  It's so exciting and kind of weird at times but is really starting to make this whole experience REAL.

I know Tony was starting to feel a little jealous and wishing he could enjoy and experience that moment as well but I really wasn't sure how long it would be until it was strong enough to be able to feel it from the outside. We'll surprise surprise...this morning he got to feel his baby for the first time!! It was an extremely strong fluttery vibration that happened twice. The look on his face almost brought mine to tears. Now that is a special moment that I will never forget. It was even more exciting than the first time I felt it!

I've been trying to pay attention to what's going on with me or around me when I feel the movements and I do have to say that a lot of the times it really seems to pick up when Tony is talking or laughing really loud. I think the baby already knows it's daddy :)

What was it like the first time you and/or your spouse felt your baby move that first time?

We heard the heartbeat!

So we had the very first appointment with our midwife and it was so much fun!

Once we got through all of the initial questions and health history it was time for the fun part...listening for the heartbeat. She found it right away and we couldn't believe how fast it was. We only listened for about 10 seconds before I started giggling. I don't know what so was funny but I just couldn't stop and the worst part was that we could no longer hear the baby's heartbeat but just the loud static sound of my laughs!

I finally calmed down by looking out the window and holding my breath and I think I must have scared that little one away. No more heartbeat but was told loud and clearly to knock it off and pay attention with a couple of swift kicks. I couldn't feel them but we could sure hear them!

This was the perfect example of that type of moment when you get to giggling at the most inopportune time and can't stop.

We left there with the biggest smiles on our faces and throughout the day we would look at each other and just start laughing thinking about that most amazing and funny moment that we will remember for the rest of our lives!

Do you have a funny story about something that happened while you were pregnant?

Finally I found my Midwife!

Living in NYC, such a progressive city, I thought that finding a midwife would be much easier than it was. Even though the actual geographical area is quite small there seem to be clear lines marking how far some midwives will travel if you are doing a home birth. It was actually quite hard to find a generous selection of midwives to chose from. Most listings all consisted of the same 10-12 people/practices. Out of those 10-12 some were already booked up during my September delivery date, others would not travel to my area (Bronx, NY) and others I just didn't feel a connection with. The one's I spoke to were nice but just didn't have that open/warmness I was looking for. (somewhat consistent with the same lack of connection I have found with the majority of New Yorkers I have encountered since I moved here 4.5 years ago...still I was surprised). There seemed to be a air of what I can only describe as pretentiousness or superiority that just really turned me off. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure this is not the case for the majority of midwives out there. Unfortunately, it's just what I encountered in my process of searching.

Finally...I met Linda. Yesterday Tony and I traveled to her home office in NJ (about an hour drive in traffic and snow from our Bronx apartment). The moment she opened the door I felt like we already knew one another! She welcomed us in with a big smile and a huge hug. Yeayyyyy what a relief...she was so welcoming, warm and open that (even if she couldn't tell) I was beaming on the inside. She took her time with us and was willing to talk through any and all subjects and questions that we had. It was great and I knew immediately that our search was over. Here is a link for her website in case you are ever looking for a great midwife in NY: http://www.completewomanmidwifery.com/

Our first appointment is next Friday March 4th and we are really looking forward to it. Finding out that you are pregnant as early as we did (4 weeks) really makes this first trimester seem like forever and I've gotten a little anxious wanting to make sure that we are on track and to get some questions finally answered. I've been really great at reading books and researching on the Internet but there is nothing like speaking directly with a professional who you know is looking out for your best interests.

Side note...I know it's been a few weeks since I last wrote. I did experience a few weeks of lovely nauseousness and extreme exhaustion. I just couldn't bring my self to write about anything unless it was to complain about how crappy I felt! Now that I'm almost 13 weeks I do think I'm starting to feel better and get my energy back. I did notice over the last couple of days I did get slammed with pretty nasty headache, which I never used to get. It wasn't until I got my weekly pregnancy update email for 12 weeks did I learn that that's exactly when those "pregnancy headaches" can start to set it. It was funny to realize that at least I am on track with that!

How was your experience finding a midwife?

Am I really pregnant?

With exception of all the "symptoms" I've been feeling I still don't think my brain is fully wrapped around this whole idea that there is a growing baby inside of me. When will it kick in? Maybe when the baby actually kicks me! Ha.

Many women experience pregnancy differently but I thought I would share what I've experienced so far for you other 1st time mothers that are as new and as boggled by this whole experience as I am.

I thought I was a lucky one that was not going to get sick....ahhh...did I speak too soon or what!

At week 5 and through the first part of week 6 with the exception of cramping and sore breasts I felt great. Then the second half of week six until now (starting week 8) I have developed what I now know is "Morning Sickness". Never having been pregnant before I thought morning sickness what something you felt once a day and you just got sick and threw up. Well maybe for some that is the case but for me it has been an off and on again nausea of my entire body. It's not subject to just one time of day...it lasts all day long. I'm still cramping here and there, swollen and sore breasts, nausea, headaches, serious exhaustion (that has me couch bound all day long for the last week and half), crazy-ass dreams (wasn't expecting that), peeing what seems like every 20 mins (probably once and hour or so....and that started just after week 4...way earlier than I ever thought would happen) oh and last but not least-constipation...lovely.

I know there is no way I am eating enough but man is it hard to put anything in my mouth. Ginger ale or Ginger tea helps, the cracker thing....ummm...not so much.

I can't wait for the next trimester to come and that I'm one of the lucky ones that will feel better once week 13 or so hits!

So now I'm starting week 8 and here's what's happening:
(don't forget to go to www.allnaturalparent.com where I got the info and amazing images!)

• Cartilage and bones begin to form - At the end of this week your baby will have already

             completed 1/5th of the journey 'til his birthday!

• The basic structure of the eye is well underway - The position is more "newborn" like already!

• The tongue begins to develop

• Intestines move out of the umbilical cord into the abdomen.

• Body grows and makes room - Two months along and this little one is growing inside and out by leaps and bounds!

• The fingers and toes have appeared but are webbed and short

• Baby's length (crown to rump) is 0.61 inch (1.6cm) and weight is 0.04 ounce (1gm)

**Find the above info/images at www.allnaturalparent.com

Start of Week 6

Today I am starting week 6 of my pregnancy. It's so interesting to me to know exactly what's happening

with the development of the baby each week. Below is a breakdown of some of the things that  happen

during week 6.

The arms and legs continue to develop - These limbs are stretching out more and more. Later on you will be feeling those feet and elbows up close and personal right in your bladder!

Brain is growing well - Did you know that over the course of the remaining months that your baby's brain will develop over 100 billion neurons? This is just the beginning!

Lenses of the eyes appear - If you could catch a glimpse inside, you would notice your baby's appearance becoming increasing like a newborn's.

Nostrils are formed - The position of the nose seems to shift into its proper place as well. Soon, the nerves running from the nose to the brain appear.

Intestines grow - Initially these are actually located outside the baby's body within the umbilical cord.

Pancreas - Your baby is now equipped to deal with digestive enzymes and take on processing the insulin and glucagons the body needs to function.

Holy Cow!

So that theory that some pregnant women can become lactose intolerant is NO JOKE!!

I am a vegetarian and a huge cheese lover so I've always wondered what it was like for people that can't eat dairy. Well now I know....and thankfully I was able to figure it out right away. My insides were turning on me only shortly after eating cheese a few days ago. That didn't fully clue me in though. It wasn't until the next day that I just had to have my all time favorite creamy pasta dish that it hit me....

I'm goings to have to end my affair with dairy....I'm sorry Fettuccini Alfredo but we no longer are going to be able to be together. It's not you...it's me....I'm going through some changes in my life right now and I have to let you go. I'm so sorry. LOL.

Oh well...this is the beginning of the changes we all make for our kids I guess!

Did anyone else experience this change?
Did it go away after you gave birth or did it stick with you?

2011 New Year's Resolution's

Moving into a new year with a completely new outlook on my life is probably one of the most exciting times I've ever experienced. Last night it occurred to me that this was the last New Year's Eve that I would have on my own for the rest of my life without being a parent to a beautiful child.

Wow...that is really something to take in!

I've never been big on new year's resolution's but this year is very different.
No longer am I completely responsible for only myself. Each and every choice I make this next year will directly affect and reflect in my unborn baby. So, not only am I making a new year's resolution of great magnitude this year I am making a huge life change.

I think the changes I am now resolving to make to what I eat and how I take care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually will be easier than expected. I'm only in the middle of week 6 right now and these changes are already naturally starting to take place. I've always been very self aware but it's amazing at how it seems just in the last 2 weeks that awareness has heightened significantly. I'm taking the time to really notice the changes that are happening to my body from the subtle cramps and breast tenderness to how my body is responding to the different foods I am eating. Knock on wood....I have not started feeling any morning sickness yet but I know it could happen at any moment.

From the second I found out I was pregnant I started drinking this amazing Organic Yogi Mother To Be tea twice a day. I've started making sure I'm eating more fruits, vegetables and whole grains every day. (something I have to be honest I have not been very good about doing for the last many years of my life even with the intentions to do so) My appetite seems to have gotten smaller but not due to nausea. I've been in the habit of only eating when I feel very hungry so I need to pay close attention that I am eating enough each day to give both myself and my baby enough nutrients.


Please be sure to share any tips or products you've found that you love during your pregnancy. There are so many different opinions and products out there I am loving learning about all of them and being able to make the best choice for me.

Well...I'm signing off and heading over to watch the new OWN network...I'm excited to finally have a resource on TV that is smart, thoughtful and educational!! Yeayyy Thank You Oprah!!!

Starting the Search for a Midwife

     So yesterday I decided to start my initial search for a midwife in the Bronx, NY. Not as easy of a process as I thought it would be. It seems like there are a TON of midwives to chose from that are located in Brooklyn. Why is that? What is it about Brooklyn that is so appealing to NY midwives? If you don't live in New York you might not think it would be that big of a deal but living in the Bronx and having to commute to Brooklyn on any kind of a consistent basis is not something you want to do. Yes most of these midwives are willing to travel for the actual birth but not for all of the pre-birth meetings and check ups. For each of those it would take hours in commute time alone...needless to say...not something you want to deal with ever, let alone when you are pregnant.

I have found a few options in Manhattan and a couple in Westchester County so we'll see how the rest of this process goes. I'm sure it will all work out exactly like it's supposed to.

Today's mission: Find my first pregnancy book
After a long conversation with my girlfriend yesterday, who had two very successful home births in the last few years, I have a small list in hand for some to start my search. I would normally just order a book my friend suggests on Amazon but I really wanted to take the time to go through some books and get the perfect one for me and this major change in my life. So off to Barnes & Noble I went....I thought there would be a bigger selection to choose from! It seemed like there was only a very small handful of books that were Holistic, Midwife, Home birth based. Nothing was speaking to me. Then, just as I had put all of the books I had pulled out back onto the shelf and was ready to walk out of the store, I spotted one that I had somehow missed and it turned out to be one from my friends list!

 

Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives
By Deepak Chopra M.D., David Simon M.D. and Vicki Abrams C.C.E.

I was so excited. Just one look at it and I knew it was the one for me!!
I started reading it as soon as I sat down on the train for my 30 min ride back to the Bronx.
I'm only 1/4 of the way through the book but I already know this is one that I am going to suggest to anyone who is pregnant or trying to get pregnant.

Here is an excerpt from the book:

Nature Creates within you and entire person complete with all his parts in just forty weeks. Throughout pregnancy your body is your unborn baby's universe. You are the rivers, sunlight, earth, atmosphere, and sky for this being growing within you. Your baby's body, mind, and soul are intimately intertwined with your own. Together you express the creative flow of life.

In each moment, your unborn baby is immersed in the sounds and vibrations of your heartbeat and breath. He feels your stress, tension, and fear along with your joy, happiness, and peace. Whenever you move, laugh, cry, eat, eliminate, or rest, your unborn baby responds. The potential of your child's life is encoded in each of his cells, while the environment of your body can either nurture or disturb this growth. Accept this responsibility with joy, for each healthy choice that you make on behalf of your unborn baby nourishes you as well. Your pregnancy can be a magical beginning for both you and your baby.

I LOVE THIS BOOK!!
This is exactly what I was looking for and I am so inspired and excited for this new journey I'm embarking on. I highly suggest you pick this book up.

Update on physical symptoms (4 weeks + 5 Days):
Yesterday early morning started feeling subtle but consistent cramping. It has continued off and on through today. From what I have read this could be from the process of the egg embedding itself into my uterus.
Will keep an eye on it and see what happens. Also have started feeling a bit more tired than usual. May or may not be related. We'll see.

Christmas Day

So yesterday was the day!
I had a feeling that I might be pregnant and yesterday December 25th, 2010 was the day I was supposed to start my period. The last one started on Thanksgiving day November 25th, 2010.

I had this plan to wake up early and take a home pregnancy test on Christmas day to see if we could give ourselves the best gift ever. I woke up about 8am while Tony was sound asleep and took the test. Within what seemed like mere seconds I saw 2 pink lines...not 1 like all the other times I took the test but 2!! OMG...really... was this really happening? I put it in a Christmas card to give to Tony when he woke up and boy was he confused. I think he thought the pink and white stick I gave him was a candy cane for the first few moments. Ha! Once he realized what was going on he thought I was joking...I had to assure him that this was Christmas not April Fool's day. The smile of realization that crossed his face was one I will never forget. I rushed out of the house to pick up one more box of a different brand test just to be sure...yup this time it was a faint plus sign. WE ARE PREGNANT!

I know there is that rule of thumb that you are supposed to wait until after your 1st Trimester (3 Months) before you announce to the world what's happening but that's really hard to do! I was surprised that it was Tony and not me that was racing to the phone to send text messages and make phone calls letting everyone know that "He did it!!" He even sent photos of the two pink lines pointing to pregnant out to his brothers and friends.....who would have thought....

So it's slowly starting to sink in but I  think it's going to be a while before I fully realize what's going on. This is my first pregnancy so it kind of feels like I'm embarking on a new science experiment within my body. I'm in complete wonder and awe with what our female body can achieve.

I do know for certain that I want to have a completely natural pregnancy and a home birth. These are things that I have known without a doubt for a long time now. It's what feels right for me. I hope to use this blog to share with other parents that are going through this same process. I want to share experiences, questions, ideas, products and resources.

I'm excited and looking forward to this process....hope you join me!